I know how it feels to love and not be loved back in return. I have despised that moment in my life: to be vulnerable in the presence of someone without him knowing it is to feel the wrath of the waves as it smashes to the shore; to find a resolve within you to keep yourself distant and aloof and then see how that resolve evaporates with just one smile from him.
I hate that I am falling for him because I cannot let it happen again. Not again. And I would not let it take away my precious heart and leave it to bleed. I need to stay away from him as far as possible.
I love to love him but I need to preserve myself. This is a decision in consideration of self-preservation. I cannot imagine going through the same ordeal so I'd rather tear myself away from him now while I still can with a smile.
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