I did not go to work today. Not that I have willingly decided to but because the heavens might have answered my prayers for a true ailment to befall on me; my migraine finally hit the bell on top and made me rush to a neurologist, who marvelously diagnosed that I have...a migraine. And not only that, my rhinopharyngitis decided to bug me in the middle of the night enough to take away precious sleep hours and keep me from swallowing and yes, talking; another reason for me to rush to the doctor.
So you see, I can't really say that I'm sick when Im not so I have to wait for something to really happen to me before I call in sick so I would not have to feel guilty.
I can't help but feel a pang of envy towards friends who are on the path towards who they want to be, doing what we have been dreaming way back in college. Most of them have already traveled the world while I am still here dreaming the dream we had ages ago. I thought that I was at peace with the fact that I cannot yet choose me until my brothers have finished; until I am sure that they can take care of themselves. Now I find myself typing the keys away, looking for a job closer to that which I really want to do.
I felt as if there is something or someone who intended to disrupt my placid existence to remind me that I should not get too comfortable where I am right now because this is not what life has set aside for me. I was excited with the prospect of working for the same company but in a different country but that has now become a perpetual possibility; something to always think about, an opportunity that would be forever followed by, what if?
Honestly, I am still undecided whether the awakening was as random as others might thought it would be or whether it is what I hoped it is. I have been constantly nagged by my conscience, never allowing me to let go of that dream. Again I'm not sure whether its just me or there is really something out there looking after me.
They say that we decide how we want our lives to turn out. But we all know that it has always been easier said than done. When you are confronted by two equally propitious options to make and it is fairly difficult to choose both, how do you choose?
