I never thought I'd regret my decision to resign from this job. I always felt that it was the best decision to make especially when my family is not really in the best position and I'm not happy with my kind of work. But that is until earlier after lunch. Give me the chance first to state that one of the things i will really miss in my work is to be in the same room with the big bosses. I dreamed of that even when I was studying only that I never thought i'd be on the side lines. But never the less it was still a dream come true. My friends have this notion that if we want something from God, we better be good enough to specify it because God, in His good-natured and funny way, has this tendency to be vague in answering prayers. SO there I was, In the same room with the people some people we look up to in the business world, only that they barely know I was there, with them. I was thinking of something else.
Anyways, going back, we hosted a lunch for a foreign minister and some of the guests were businessmen from that country. Now the foreign club here also invited their members and that's were everything began. I thought that I'd never see the light of this day..when regret would dawn and sadden me to well, regret.. Doing my usual stuff walking around the venue looking at how everything is going on..Suddenly, my eyes darted towards this almost full table. Automatically, I caught the face of this cute looking guy ( well, at least for me, and for yenny! thanks yen!) At first I thought he's Filipino, but as the meeting went on, I noticed he's very fluent in French (hay!) and has an American(?) twang. I keep on looking at him but he keeps on seeing me looking at him too. I don't really want to think that he's also watching me out but it seems to be the case because we keep on locking our gazes for about a second (well, call it short, still send some kilig factor in my stomach).
When the meeting ended, I was quite shy and so I was trying hard not to cross paths with him, but i eventually, accidentally followed him outside. He hanged around and asked some questions while i was so nervous and I keep on flipping the pages of this directory that I know, if he was watching me, he'd notice that I'm just acting my part, for lack of anything else to do. So there, he ask for something I wasn't brave enough to stand up and meet him so the person he was talking to called my officemate instead. Then that was the time that Yenny exclaimed how cute he is. I felt vindicated. I know he has this charm that I can't seem to get my eyes off him so i keep on coming back to the place where there is a good view of him.
I was also invited by my boss to join him and Yenny to a store-tour hoping that he would be there. Hay, i don't know if it would make any difference if I stay here but I was pretty sure, and even with the thoughts of him, I am still convinced, that the resignation was the best decision. Its just that even though I would be free of the stress I dread from this place, there is still the recognition, that well, I could never be as close to them as this. I don't know and I'm not closing my reality to the probability that maybe someday, while I am taking a leisurely tour in the mall or having lunch, dinner or meryenda with friend, I would chance upon his face again. But from experience, I never had something I really wanted, especially a guy, to come and talk to me and really get to know me.
All that I really had was hopes and dreams, for now, I need to force them out of my system. Bcause tomorrow, reality will take its place again and my countdown will continue and I still have a research report, two articles and lots of stuff to fix before I turn my back on this opportunity. I said to a friend I wanted to see him and meet him again even for the last time, just so I could look at his face, and he said, it can happen, serendipity can make it possible. I said its not true, it has not happened to me yet. And I don't think it'll ever will. That's just to impossible for me. So I said to a friend my current reality would not allow a lovelife to fit in. Sad but that's just how it is.
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