Devil's Advocate

I once tried to squeeze my brains and heart out for that one thing that will make me happy. An occupation, a job, or passion that I would want to do for the rest of my life. I know for one thing that it has something to do with international affairs but I am not sure in what field. Something in me, tells me that though development work is a good field, and fairly noble at that, it is not meant for me. While going through the hazards and pains and yes, sometimes the comforts of my job, I found what I have long been looking for. I wanted to deal with conflict and crisis management. I somehow feel its a lot closer to what I have been currently doing, which is complaints management. Even I was surprised when I realized that this is something I could really work on.

Now, having known this, brings me to another dilemma: looking for an alternative. Why am I doing this after having gone through the pains of searching for it, I asked myself as I type away words that will complete this entry. I know, its because I think, I am trying to gauge if this is really what I want to do. I am trying to test whether the temptations of comfort, of an easier life will make me want to take back my decision. After thinking of a viable alternative, like teaching English in Korea, or becoming a full-pledged trainer of some sort, I realized that later on, it will never fill that empty space that only my passion for international affairs can fill. If probably, training will have something to do with training new negotiators or policy analyst or peacemakers or keepers, then I guess that'll do. But I want to make sure that there's no turning back. I want to be my own devil's advocate because I want to be responsible for this decision.