emotional roller coaster

This emotional roller coaster is driving me nuts. It’s a fairly difficult situation to be faced with but it is inevitable. Thoughts of working for the UN, shifting to a corporate career, supporting my family, living independently, and doing something holy, good, and soul-uplifting occupy my wave of consciousness. I don’t know if I am just exaggerating how excruciating it is to be in this situation, probably others can better handle my predicament or that they hide effectively well their agony. It is during these moments that I can finally witness how everything I came to learn takes its full shape. Its like they have revealed themselves full circle. Suddenly, everything has deeper meaning and they all make sense. I am quite ambivalent though if they should be taken positively or negatively. Of course, the Christian in me persuades me to take it optimistically because they all happen to make the divine plan come true.