Superwoman

Superwoman

It is but normal, I guess, for a person of my age to be ideal and to dream big. The youth and vitality in me gives me the liberty to look wide-eyed at the opportunities presented to me by the world and to embrace them fully. Just like a typical spoiled-brat, figuratively speaking, I indulge myself with the thought of achieving all that I dream of in my life. And not the least of these things is my plan to be a powerful figure in the field of developmental politics. What I mean by that is to be a respected and sought after analyst and maybe consultant in matters that concern poverty alleviation, maybe even foreign policies and its implication and maybe even policy development in various fields such as health, environment, education or population.

In spite of my drive and enthusiasm to be who I want to be, its funny that I get nauseous whenever I think of the choices of my career path. There’s no question that in those choices lie who and what I will be in the future, what I cannot accept but I do know I eventually have to, is that I have to choose between all the these choices. And thinking that I cannot be all of these persons at the same time depresses me a bit. Haha, I know most of you would say. Girl, you are not a superwoman. I know that. But I have this nagging feeling that if think vividly and think hard, I would be someday. We’ll so far I haven’t been able to achieve much because my current disposition only succeeds in adding to my stress.

I am not a super woman. But I try to be. I look at other people, especially my colleagues, and I see them successful in their endeavors. It’s not that I have been mostly failure, but I guess I’ve mediocre for most of the time. My three years stay in a debate organization boosted my confidence yes, but I’m sad not to have been able to give back to the society. Every time I hear a colleague of mine has succeeded, I cannot help but compare myself and ask what can I not do that he or she can? Motivation sourced from envy? Clearly so.

Moral of the story: envy is not a good source of motivation only if it is the only source. It has to be sustained by a higher cause, a purpose that cannot be jaded by time or place and even displaced by another envy. With an even greater conviction, I know I have to accept that I cannot be all that I want to be. That there is a limit to what I can do but I still have to be thankful for what I have. Maybe its not as much as what others have but I put my faith completely in God that what He has given me are the best things for me.

If He has given His son because of His love for men, what more are our earthly needs?