Thursday, April 07, 2016

As I ascend the stairs


As I ascend the stairs from the platform to the station, I find myself realising two things: that I no longer want to run and that I choose”oops” than a “what if” in my life. 

My memory is still serving me well and I can remember very clearly how it felt in the past; how a heartache like this felt. For the first time since my very first heartbreak, I no longer want to run. 

I am staying put. I am going to see through the end of this. No more running. For the first time, I don’t wish for this to be over. I want to understand what this is all about and I want to live through it, and not just be done with it. 

It is never a fun feeling. It is always excruciating but it makes me feel so alive. I ask myself, what is this teaching me? 

For the first time, I am actually choosing, the experience, over what if. I am living rather than overthinking. The goal is to have something to reflect on, and not just overthink. 

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