At 30

I wrote this on my birthday, 17 August. I only got the chance to post it now.

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I am an insecure writer. Writing is one of my biggest frustrations. There are so many things I would have written about me, about life, about men, boys, friends, joys, tears, sufferings, work, career, family, faith, and God, but I never got the chance to do so because I always think that my writing never does justice to the wealth I have accumulated in my head and my life. This is an attempt to start overcoming my insecurities. I was never really brave enough to let other people read my thoughts. Well for one, they don’t have to, I talk incessantly so they don’t even have to second guess. But there are some things that I would be more inclined to write about only because when I write, I can say more. Intentionally and unintentionally, I know I can be funny and sometimes not taken seriously, so in the hopes that despite my ‘hopefully’ funny quips you will still understand the things I want to share, I will attempt to write it down.

It is my 30th birthday. Hurray! Turning 30 is probably one of the most common and normal things we can encounter in life, and so is turning 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 31, 32, 33, or even 40. We are surrounded by people from this wonderful age bracket and I will have to say already, this is the coolest age bracket to belong to.

But then I am reminded of the people who never get to reach this age - the children who suffer from the most cruel of diseases; the young people who squander their youth with vices or those who do so in exchange for some lofty or not so lofty ideals; children who were never given a chance to be born; people who never wanted to leave but sadly had their time up; and those who never found the inspiration to go on living so took it upon themselves to retire early from life.

And then I start to be thankful. Turning 30 is a gift and a gift I am really most happy to embrace and receive.

What a revelation God has brought to me by bringing me into this workplace. I did a 360 degrees turn from loathing to loving this job. I realized that He allows us to go through the most difficult of times not because we deserve it but because we are able to appreciate better the great things He has in store for us.

AT 30, just like most of you probably, I have laughed, cried my heart out, been depressed, loved, been heartbroken (a couple of times), been inspired, suffered loss of loved ones, failed, questioned, succeeded, believed, but most important of all lived. I may not have been the best in some areas of my life but here’s to hoping I have 30 or more years to strive doing so (and actually get there!).

At 30, I have come to fully understand that to love is never a consequence of feelings but always of decision and commitment (Yes I have, but spare me the questions. =D ). And sometimes even if you fail to get what you really want, it is about who you become out of the experience.

At 30, I realized that your strength and resolve can fail you, but faith never will. The greatest strength you can summon to yourself is to accept that you cannot do things alone, you cannot do things on your own, and that it is not all about you.

At 30, I have come to discover the real fountain of youth. Laughter. Laugh at just about anything, find the beauty in people and be thankful even for the most cruel of things. You will realize that nothing can harm you and make you age at lightning speed when you always find a reason or something to laugh about.

It’s fun to be 30. I love being 30. I think it’s cool being 30. So many things I can do and more things to look forward to.

I think I can be young forever. =)

Thanks everyone for being part of my 30 years.

P. S. Correct my lapses tomorrow. For now, let me think that I have written well.

Thanks,

Lady Gail Pelayo
Training Officer
Training, Resourcing, and Instructional Design - Citiphone - O&T
Citigroup Business Process Solutions Pte. Ltd.
25/F PBCom Tower, 6795 Ayala Ave., cor. V.A. Rufino St.,
Makati City 1226, Philippines