When this too shall pass is not enough

This too shall pass

I've liked that line since I was in college, round about the time when my Mom was hospitalized for appendicitis. Every time, something happens to my mom back then, I would run this line over and over again just to assure myself that I, we will not have to deal with whatever for long. And then it became a habit. I would summon the courage it gives whenever something difficult comes by - I try to live less when I'm in that situation and then hope that by the time I wake up, the worst is over. It has been like that for quite sometime and I coped because of that. I must say though that when the toughest times came, I was forced to abandon the momentary courage it gives and faced the monsters I was confronted with. It did me good. I am tougher now. It is still a puzzle for me though, how and where I got the strength to face the challenges in my life. I just remember that when they came, I would wake up one day with more courage to say, "Bring it on!", and then when it hits harder I'd tease it with, "Is this all that you can do?". No guessing is needed to say that life brings out the best and worst in us in very unusual ways. I'd say that, the toughest times brought out the best in me.

It is different for others though. My friend Rizza, with a sudden twist of fate, is now carrying a burden for her family. Her sister is still in the hospital, only God knows when she will wake up and her father needs to be operated on because of a heart condition and if that is not enough, she is the one running their business in place of her sister. For quite sometime now, I have not spoken with Cheng and I am not sure how she is holding up. The last news I have of her was that her sister is still unconscious and her father has been sent home from the hospital. I would sometimes think of how it feels to be in her place and I can't even go past the part where I would say to myself, this too shall pass because I know for a fact, based on experience that it's not appropriate. I tried to say to Cheng to pick herself up to stand and fight. Fight for her sanity, fight for her family, fight for her sister, and fight for their lives. No one would say, "ok lang yan", coz its not OKAI. It never will be. Having to suffer that kind of threat, even if you get past it, is not OKAI.

The thing is, it is not okay to simply say, this too shall pass because it is almost as if one is turning his or her back from what he or she is confronted with. While it is understandable that the ordeal or any ordeal of this scale for that matter is difficult, it is not an excuse to be passive about it. I've learned that experiences of this magnitude does not happen randomly or for no reason at all - unlike what I would fondly recall from one of my classes, when my professor would regard things that happen in international politics as a random act of randomness, or to put it simply, shit happens. There is a grand design in all of these - and this is me talking in a very conservative manner. No one knows what until the worst part is over. It has occurred to me at some point whether the things we get out of the experience could not be had through other means and I found the answer just now. Even if it there were other ways of learning what needs to be learned, the problem to be confronted next is if those were easier than the one that just happened.

Humans are equipped with an amazing capacity to survive, having done so for centuries. And to say this is not just to talk about physical survival but also emotional, pychological, mental, and even spiritual survival. I've always believed that there is a lesson to be learned with every experience, the more striking the experience, the more potent the lesson. To brush off life and what comes with it, with a simple "this too shall pass" is to forego of that gem that comes along with accomplishing the task. It's like SuperMario game (I'm this old and I'm this ignorant with computer and even online games that I don't have anything recent to use), every block you destroy is equivalent to some points the harder you knock off the block the higher the points. It takes a few, yes, a few of these bigger blocks to understand that this is life's game. This is how it unfolds. There is no and there shouldn't be any turning away or letting past of this opportunity. To let go of these moments would be to live life less.

Sometimes, I would close my eyes to relive the memory of the tough times. Now, I would count the moments when I would say I would never have it any other way. And for me, those times were the times when I stared at each challenge straight-faced in pain and boldly saying, bring it on.

You would know when a person got the most out of life when this is his or her outlook. But it takes so much to get to this point. I am fortunate to have gone through a lot to even be able to say this. I know that there is much more out there. And I am scared but I will have to face it anyway because no amount of preparation can equip me with the a solution for anything that might happen. I just know I have to face it first before I get to the part of solving it.

We need to experience saying this too shall pass but we will have to let it go at some point in time because life is more meaningful when lived to the fullest.