By far, this has been one of the nicest christmas I've celebrated. I didn't really get the best of what I want but I did receive some which made me happy; the new cd of APO Hiking society - not released in the market, thanks Fonz; a Parker pen with my name on it; a pair of dumbells (?); the book of Jeffrey Sachs, The end of Poverty from my dearest brother; and a new ring from my father - this is something which I have never expected, I just happen to see the ring and I can't get over it so he bought it for me.
More importantly though, its the special feeling of gratitude, of joy, of love that I feel which made this Christmas very warm and one of the nicest. Suddenly, I realized just how many people loves me and how much I have been given. I cannot help but be overwhelmed with the thought that there's so much to be thankful for.
Well compared to last year's tragedy, this is definitely way better. My family did not notice the difference last year and how broken I've been but the closest to me, especially my workmates have noticed how much I have changed. Whatever lesson I needed to learn, I think I have been made aware of it; learning and living it however will really have to take quite sometime.
This Christmas, I have a renewed vigor to believe in the good things that this life can bring and has to offer. This year, I have been faced with the same challenge of falling in love, getting my heart broken and then trying to recover from it. The last part is a bit difficult to accomplish but I know I'll get there. This is a year of experiments, of forging new friendships, of epiphany, of decisions, of discovering the good there is in people, of craziness, of hope, of love and more importantly, of faith.
I have met a lot of people who witnessed my weaknesses but who never gave up on me. I was given the chance to get to know better some of my old acquiantances and turn them into good friends. I realized this year that its time for me to move on and do what I have been born to do and that if I don't decide now, I will probably be regretting this for the rest of my life.
This year is a year of spending more time with family; of getting to know them a bit better. A year of slowly mending our relationship with our father; of understanding where he might be coming from; of making compromises so that we can meet halfway; of trying to make things work for our family.
This is a year of renewing faith. I found out that its our own insecurities, incapabilites that hinder our ability to ask for what we specifically need or want, for that matter. From the littlest things to the most impossible ones, I find that the power to make our prayers come true is in the humility of asking and in holding on to the faith that it will be granted in due time, and in the way that is best for us. God's love is simply just too much for us humans to understand. We simply have to be steadfast for everything that makes no sense will be revealed to us in due time.
This Christmas has been a meaningful one, not because of the gifts but because I believe I have felt God everywhere and in everyone. Truly, God is with us.
Merry Christmas!
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