No pretentions

I am not going to pretend anymore. I tried to deny it before and acted as if it were the case. I never really thought that the effort I was giving was double the efforts of others. My friends, some of them are practical, some are a treasureful of sense and some have really guided thoughts. And for them everything is simple, though they may seem complicated, they can effortlessly make it appear as if its a no-brainer.

I am COMPLICATED. I am incredibly good at making things doubly hard for me and for the people around me. It takes so hard for me to decide which is which and end up with countless rationalizations and justifications for something so simple and sometimes so mundane. I'm starting to think, where has my common sense gone? You know for someone who graduated with a degree in philosophy, i'm somebody who has lost all sense in me.

And the crazier part is, I always start my decision making with a thought of the future - not bad, makes sense - only that this future is a grimmer version. It has none of the optimistic and blissful tone one would wish to really have in their future. And it doesn't stop at that. It multiplies itself and creates a horror movie out of a simple thought. A neutral, non-negative thought. Amazing isn't? How the mind can make a tree out of a seed.

So there, i am not going to pretend anymore. I am not a simple person. i am complicated. So for those who can't catch up, good for you.